Dos and Don’ts for Wedding Guests
13. Apr 2016
Summer wedding season is fast approaching and chances are you could be attending at least one ceremony in the coming months. Weddings, while joyful and celebratory occasions, can often bring with them a great deal of anxiety, and not just for the bride and groom! From what to wear, what to purchase and – gasp – the possibility of giving a speech, the unknowns of an upcoming wedding can stress out even the most fun-loving of guests.
To help you navigate the sometimes choppy waters of wedding season, we’ve gathered up some key Dos and Don’ts of being a great guest.
DO
• Test out your shoes before the big day. The last thing you want is a painful blister or lack of arch support spoiling your fun.
• Read in between the lines of the wedding invitation. Even if it doesn’t outright state a dress code, information such as ceremony location (e.g., a Catholic church) will give a clue of how to dress appropriately.
• Take photos! But don’t get in the way of the professional photographer and be sure to follow any directions about when or how to take them.
• Send your RSVP by mail and before the due date. Even if you see the couple all the time, a proper response is not only more respectful, it allows them (or their planner) to keep everything organised. Don’t give them an excuse not to have enough food for you!
• Attend every part of the wedding you have been invited to. Whether or not you think the ceremony will be long and boring, it is a part of their special day and you don’t get to sit it out and go straight to the party.
• Pace yourself. This means everything from not eating too many appetisers and spoiling your dinner to not going overboard at cocktail hour. You want to be a comfortable and active wedding festivities participant from beginning to end.
• Arrive on time, knowing that “on time” actually means approximately thirty minutes early.
• Send a gift even if you can’t attend. This is a tricky one, as you may feel like you aren’t “getting” anything for this. But if you are close enough to the couple to be invited to their wedding day, proper etiquette dictates that you should send them a gift, even if you’ve had to decline the invitation.
DON’T
• Upstage the bride or groom. Colour customs differ by cultural and religious tradition, so while we won’t outright say “don’t wear white,” be sure not to don something the same colour as the bride – no matter what that may be. Ultra-revealing outfits or anything otherwise more eye-catching than what the people getting married will be wearing are also off-limits.
• Be afraid to ask for information. While you don’t want to pester the bride and groom with questions about what to wear or, obviously, what gift to choose, asking members of their families or wedding party will help you feel appropriately prepared for the day.
• Upload your photos until the bride and groom have had a chance to post some themselves (especially if they are paying a professional photographer).
• Feel constrained by the registry. If there is nothing on the registry in your budget or if you would just feel more comfortable giving cash, that’s absolutely okay. But remember that the registry was created for a reason (i.e., it’s filled with things the couple both wants and needs) so if you go off-script and choose a different gift, include a gift receipt with your present.
• Bring a plus-one (this means your children, too) if they were not included on the invitation.
• Expect them to remember (or even worse – intuit) your dietary restrictions. If you are vegan, gluten free or have food allergies, be sure to include this information on your RSVP.
